Sunday, March 3, 2013

My paranoia: confirmed

Just to be sure everyone knows-- I was a really paranoid child.

My parents grounded me from reading The Reader's Digest because it would scare me so much that I couldn't sleep ("The Rapist Next Door," etc).

Also, I cried every time my family went on a car ride with only one parent, because I was certain that that parent would have a heart attack and I wouldn't be able to drive (and I certainly didn't trust Wade to do it). I would sit in the car the whole time and cry and ask whoever was driving if they were feeling okay, and to pull over if they had any sort of pain anywhere.

This lasted until well into my teenage years. I loved babysitting, but as soon as the kids went to bed I would end up curled on the couch terrified that someone was going to break into the house and kill the children. I usually ended up calling my parents and one of them would come sit with me until my shift was over.

I was probably a real blast to take care of.

I've gotten better though. I can talk myself out of freaking out. I still have some tendencies (like when I turn off the light in my kitchen, I run to my bedroom because I'm a little afraid of the dark).

Anyway, point is, I am not as scared as I used to be but I'm still probably more scared than most people.
I'm thankful for that though. It has caused me to be hyper-vigilant in certain situations.

One of my student jobs is off-campus. Parking permits are into the $500 range but a bus pass is only $100. So I ride the bus to/from campus and my job about three times a week.

Last semester I noticed some erratic behavior from a guy in a big maroon truck. When he saw me at the bus stop, he would turn into the parking lot for the Pizza Hut that is right behind the stop. His turning seemed to be based on the fact that I was there-- it was erratic and not planned out. He occasionally would cat-call or whistle or wave, but I always just ignored him. Sometimes he was with another guy also. This happened probably 2-3 times a month. While I thought it was weird, and it creeped me out a little, I never sensed that I was in real danger.

This semester I hadn't seen Truck Guy at all. But Wednesday, when I was at the bus stop in the middle of the day, he saw me again. I want to note that he was going north when he saw me, and I was waiting for the bus which was going south- that will be important later. He pulled into the parking lot really fast and started waving at me and gesturing for me to go over to his truck. I ignored him and got closer to the other person at the bus stop (a stranger reading a book) and hoping that Truck Guy would let me be. He kept calling out to me and telling me to go to him and I kept ignoring him.

Then HE OPENED HIS TRUCK DOOR and got out and started walking towards me. As I noticed I called Roland (assuming he would act like Liam Neeson in the situation-- I can dream, right? Logic was gone.). RIGHT then, the bus pulled up. The other guy at the stop let me get on first and I was out of the situation.

Now, as I mentioned before, I was heading south (towards campus) and the truck had previously been headed north. But Truck Guy decided it was a good idea to follow me. He pulled up next to the bus and, at the next stop light, stopped where he was level with where I was in the bus. He kept gesturing at me and we were close enough that I could tell that I definitely did NOT recognize him. When the light turned green and the bus started going, he sped off.

I'm fine, but definitely a little more paranoid than I was last week. A big worry of mine is that he obviously knows where I am headed (I always have my backpack with me) and that he knows the area where I work and what time I catch the bus. A bigger worry of mine is that he is probably doing this to other girls. I did nothing to ever elicit attention from this man so there is no reason he would choose me and only me to behave weird around.

I submitted a police report (that was unfortunately vague as I can't trust myself to remember the make/model of his truck and I've never seen his license plate).

I told my boss at my off-campus job about the incident and he and my coworkers were extremely kind in their willingness to walk me to, and wait with me at, the bus stop or drive me to campus if necessary. He also brought a camera when he walked me and was ready to take pictures if the guy showed up again. They also gave me strict instructions to call the police if the guy ever pulls up again and to make it known that I am taking pictures.

I am incredibly appreciative of their willingness to help me.

My boss has personal reasons to be particularly responsive to dangerous-bordering-on-stalker situations and I am so so grateful that he was there to hear my story and respond.

As I told them the story they mentioned how fortunate it was that the bus pulled up right when I was being physically approached. I know that the timing of the bus that day was a miracle for me. I know that God was watching out for me. I'm thankful to have the coworkers that I do, especially my boss who recognizes the potential danger in my situation.

I told my boss who I work for on campus and she too was incredibly supportive. I've never seen TG on campus, but if I do I know that she will do everything she can to help keep me safe.

I know God protected me on Wednesday. Even if the man had no bad intentions, God knew that I would feel uncomfortable with the situation and He got me out of it.

One of my bosses told me that she will be praying that the situation gets resolved safely. I appreciated her insight. I don't want to always just hope that I don't see TG again, I want him to know that what he did isn't okay and I want him to not do that to anyone else.

I am thankful for the people around me who care enough to tell me I was an idiot for not reporting TG sooner and who knew what to say to inspire me to do something about the situation.

I don't want to sound dramatic about this, maybe the guy thought he knew me or maybe he had no bad intentions, but he crossed the line and I am taking particular caution to keep myself out of a dangerous situation.

So, that is what happened recently. I'm glad I have people who will take care of me and keep me safe and I am glad that I have a Father in heaven who knows what I need and when and is willing to help me out.

That's what is new in my life! #yolo

Chanda :)

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