I owe $3100 in student loans.
It would be all too easy for me to lecture myself on ways I could have avoided owing this money.
All too easy to count up the concerts and plays I attended, the nights I ate out, the splurges I made while grocery shopping (the fancy cheeses always get me), the road trips I went on..
But I am so grateful that I had those opportunities.
Four years of my life were spent at the University of Arizona. I am in awe of the blessing those four years were on my life.
I did not know, as a freshman, that my car that I saved up all summer to buy would be stolen a month after the semester started. Or that the car I got after would be wrecked. I didn't know that I would take multiple trips to California, one to Texas, a few to Idaho, and countless ones around the state of Arizona. I didn't know that I would love going to concerts (and consequently spend a lot of money attending them).
I didn't know that in those four years I would decide what I wanted my life to look like, and then decide something different, and then decide something different again.
I had no idea that my friendships would change every year with my living situation. That I would meet people who taught me more about myself than they did about themselves. Nor did I know that I would have roommates that I just didn't get along with. I didn't realize (for the best) that I would keep in contact with approximately 0 people from high school (or that I would prefer it that way).
I had no idea that my testimony of Jesus Christ and my relationship with my Heavenly Father would become what it is now. I couldn't have known that I would receive answers to my prayers so frequently that I couldn't deny promptings, even when they were things I didn't want to do.
I did not expect that I would be working 35+ hours a week while going to school to keep my debt down. I didn't predict that I would love nannying so much that I would want to continue doing it, even after graduation.
I didn't realize that I would be graduating in four years with a (nice sounding but completely useless) BA in Psychology.
I didn't realize that on my trips to California I would fall even more in love with Disneyland. And because of that I would end up moving to Florida right after graduation. I didn't realize that working for Disney World would not be what I expected so I would end up moving to (cold) Minnesota to be a nanny while I prepared to serve a mission.
I didn't know that I wouldn't meet my knight in shining armor until my senior year. Or that I would refuse to date him for 5 months because he was leaving on a mission. I didn't know that I would obsessively write him letters after he left, and be able to laugh and feel close to him even while he was on a different continent.
Absolutely none of this was predictable. And $3100 seems a small price for the lessons I learned (mostly outside of school) and the people I met and the memories I made.
I am so fortunate to have found a major that I loved and that came easily to me. I am proud that I graduated with a 3.9 GPA and enjoyed my classes. I am glad that because I understood the classes so well, I had time left over to have other experiences. I was able to be a long-term volunteer at several places. I was able to experience Tucson's culture and fall in love with the city. I was able to become friends with so many people who changed me and helped me see the world differently.
I am on a solid path now. This is a weird transition period in my life, definitely, but I know what I want. I have a few things, the most important things, figured out.
I know that God was directly involved in my life. I know that He knows exactly what I needed to experience to become the type of person He knows I can be. I'm still a work in progress, I always will be. But I am committed to honoring and following Him.
I know that God speaks to us, He answers prayers, He has a plan. I know that by following Him and seeking His guidance I will find happiness and peace.
I wasn't always perfect about it. I goofed up on things, I put my agenda before His frequently. I am recommitting, like I have to do every day (sometimes more often), to follow and believe in Him.
$3100 isn't too much to pay for the people I met, the places I went, and the person I became.
Thanks to all for the love and support!!
xoxo
Chanda, BA
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