Building Faith, Stepping Stones

Yesterday I lost one of my jobs. I was sort of expecting it (as a nanny you have to realize that at some point the parents will realize that daycares are much cheaper, especially for families with only one child).

The loss of this job brings my working hours down to less than 20/week.

I was, I think understandably, quite stressed about the lack of hours. I want to spend my time being productive and making and saving money. I still have immunizations to pay for and things to purchase for my mission. And I still have student loan debt that I get to worry about in a week. Also, without a social life, days off are pretty depressing.

Thursdays I work in the St. Paul Temple from 9-2. I went today, praying for guidance. I got to the Temple early and as I waited for the prayer meeting to start I flipped open the nearest set of scriptures. It opened to Alma 31. I just kept flipping through, trying to remember where I was in El Libro de Mormon.

After the prayer meeting I went about other Temple duties and, eventually, I got some time to sit in the Celestial room. While I was in there, praying for peace and direction, I decided again to flip open the scriptures. This set also turned straight to Alma 31, and this time I decided to read it.

Alma 31:5 is a nice scripture, and I liked what it said, but it didn't really have significance to my question. I almost started flipping pages again, thinking that maybe I was looking for signs at that point, but decided to keep reading.

Alma 31: 37-38 were exactly what I needed to read. In this chapter Alma and his sons decide to preach the word of God to the Zoramites, who have fallen into some weird beliefs. Alma prays, asking God to help them with their missions. The final verses:

37 And after that they did separate themselves one from another,taking no thought for themselves what they should eat, or what they should drink, or what they should put on.

38 And the Lord provided for them that they should hunger not, neither should they thirst; yea, and he also gave them strength, that they should suffer no manner of afflictions, save it were swallowed up in the joy of Christ. Now this was according to the prayer of Alma; and this because he prayed in faith.

I know that God knows me. I know that He knows what I need. I am doing my best to follow Him and have faith.

It is a lot easier to say than to live, but I do know that God has a plan for the time I now have open. I do not know what that plan is, but I have faith that if I continue to do all that I can to open doors, He will show me the right one to go through.

While I wait for further direction, I have applied to a lot of jobs. I have also contacted the few people I know in Minnesota and asked them to keep their eyes open for me. I know that I am relatively unhireable (since my availability is MTW and I leave in 9 weeks). I also know that this little affliction will be swallowed up in the joy of Christ.

Whatever is supposed to happen, will happen. I am glad to have had my faith strengthened today as a response to my prayers.

Chanda C.

Student Loan Payback Time

It is cute that the University actually expects me to have my life together enough to begin making student loan payments only 6 months after graduation.

I owe $3100 in student loans.

It would be all too easy for me to lecture myself on ways I could have avoided owing this money.

All too easy to count up the concerts and plays I attended, the nights I ate out, the splurges I made while grocery shopping (the fancy cheeses always get me), the road trips I went on..

But I am so grateful that I had those opportunities.

Four years of my life were spent at the University of Arizona. I am in awe of the blessing those four years were on my life.

I did not know, as a freshman, that my car that I saved up all summer to buy would be stolen a month after the semester started. Or that the car I got after would be wrecked. I didn't know that I would take multiple trips to California, one to Texas, a few to Idaho, and countless ones around the state of Arizona. I didn't know that I would love going to concerts (and consequently spend a lot of money attending them). 

I didn't know that in those four years I would decide what I wanted my life to look like, and then decide something different, and then decide something different again.

I had no idea that my friendships would change every year with my living situation. That I would meet people who taught me more about myself than they did about themselves. Nor did I know that I would have roommates that I just didn't get along with. I didn't realize (for the best) that I would keep in contact with approximately 0 people from high school (or that I would prefer it that way).

I had no idea that my testimony of Jesus Christ and my relationship with my Heavenly Father would become what it is now. I couldn't have known that I would receive answers to my prayers so frequently that I couldn't deny promptings, even when they were things I didn't want to do.

I did not expect that I would be working 35+ hours a week while going to school to keep my debt down. I didn't predict that I would love nannying so much that I would want to continue doing it, even after graduation.

I didn't realize that I would be graduating in four years with a (nice sounding but completely useless) BA in Psychology. 

I didn't realize that on my trips to California I would fall even more in love with Disneyland. And because of that I would end up moving to Florida right after graduation. I didn't realize that working for Disney World would not be what I expected so I would end up moving to (cold) Minnesota to be a nanny while I prepared to serve a mission.

I didn't know that I wouldn't meet my knight in shining armor until my senior year. Or that I would refuse to date him for 5 months because he was leaving on a mission. I didn't know that I would obsessively write him letters after he left, and be able to laugh and feel close to him even while he was on a different continent.

Absolutely none of this was predictable. And $3100 seems a small price for the lessons I learned (mostly outside of school) and the people I met and the memories I made.

I am so fortunate to have found a major that I loved and that came easily to me. I am proud that I graduated with a 3.9 GPA and enjoyed my classes. I am glad that because I understood the classes so well, I had time left over to have other experiences. I was able to be a long-term volunteer at several places. I was able to experience Tucson's culture and fall in love with the city. I was able to become friends with so many people who changed me and helped me see the world differently.

I am on a solid path now. This is a weird transition period in my life, definitely, but I know what I want. I have a few things, the most important things, figured out.

I know that God was directly involved in my life. I know that He knows exactly what I needed to experience to become the type of person He knows I can be. I'm still a work in progress, I always will be. But I am committed to honoring and following Him.

I know that God speaks to us, He answers prayers, He has a plan. I know that by following Him and seeking His guidance I will find happiness and peace.

I wasn't always perfect about it. I goofed up on things, I put my agenda before His frequently. I am recommitting, like I have to do every day (sometimes more often), to follow and believe in Him.

$3100 isn't too much to pay for the people I met, the places I went, and the person I became.

Thanks to all for the love and support!!

xoxo

Chanda, BA