I cried a lot as I walked out of that class. I love the University of Arizona campus. I love belonging here. I love what I have done. I love the people that I have met. I am so proud of what I have accomplished. I worked so hard to get here. It wasn't all me, but a lot of it was.
Something that was said in my class tonight (because it is an upper-level psychology course that feels a lot like therapy so we do cool things like dedication candlelight ceremonies) really struck me.
"You don't get to be where I am from where I used to be."
I can't take all of the credit for getting here. But I am proud as heck that I am now Chanda Crossman, BA.
Recap:
Freshman year
First semester started out rough. I didn't get along with my roommate, my car was stolen (later Jane), I had two break-ups (hey-oh Bert G.!), got my first B (stupid general education courses), walked to church a lot, serious financial crises, had to give Luna to my mom, didn't know what to major in, wrote something like 50 essays over the course of the semester (stupid Honors classes), and cried in public (s/o to the douche who made that happen). I went to Disneyland. Sarah W. (now Sarah S.) got me through that semester. I don't know what I would have done without her angelic presence in my life. Bethany R. and Victoria V. were great, too.
Second semester was much better. I got a new roommate (who was probably the best one I have ever had ever, Brittany C. {now Brittany L.}), started dating someone, got a new car (thanks, Wyndie and Eugene) (Sir Galahad), learned how to handle classes, made great new friends (s/o to Zac B. and Lyndsay B.), went to Six Flags Magic Mountain and Disneyland.
That summer was great. I spent a lot of time in Yuma. A lot of time. Went to Magic Mountain. Said goodbye to a missionary or two. Bought a new car (Sir Cadagon).
Sophomore year
First semester: Moved in to an apartment much closer to campus. Got along with my roommates (Chloe G.), lived with Luna, became friends with a lot of cool people (names can't be mentioned due to current friends-off situation), had a lot of late nights and belly laughs, got written off by a missionary, said goodbye to more missionaries, started work at the SALT Center and Mad Science, went to Disneyland, drove to Houston, TX to be in Brittany's wedding.
Second semester: Stopped getting along with most of my roommates (never tell a girl not to marry the guy she loves and avoid rotten pumpkins altogether), started dating a guy, learned the art of ditching class, went to a lot of concerts (thanks to Roland T. and Sarah V.).
Summer was good, mostly. Some people in my life started making poor choices which was stressful. Stayed in Tucson and worked a lot. Got a third/second job (because Mad Science wasn't particularly lucrative).
Junior year
First semester: moved in to a giant house (we're talking 8 bed/7 bath/ 2 laundry room/ 3 fridge), kept LunaBug, became close to important people (s/o to Patti and Chuckie C., Beth W., Emily E., Hayley A., Maddy S. {now Maddy T.}, Kirk T.), feeling secure, went to Disneyland, first time I had to take someone to the ER (Taryn and her appendix).
Second semester: hardest class of my undergraduate career, perfected faking having done the readings, finished my minor, started freaking out about grad school, went to Disneyland, had my heart and future ripped out and stomped on (glad to have survived that), started feeling my way back into the social world, had a world of help from so many people (Christian M., Maggie P., Beth W., Hayley A., Mercedes A., Sarah F.), became close with Sarah F. (f stands for friend, just kidding). Started working as a nanny, worked 3 jobs for about 3 weeks, finally quit one, quit the other during the summer.
Summer was hard. I was sad. I couldn't sleep. I lost a lot of weight. I cried most of the time. Break ups suck. I met Erik P. and became close with a lot of people (Isaac F., Rhett B., Alec P., Milo W., frisbee people). I went to NYC and was in my brother's lovely wedding.
Senior year
First semester I finally started to actually feel happy most of the time. I went on a lot of dates with a lot of boys and didn't want anything to do with them. Applied to TFA. Went to Disneyland. Really grew close to Erik and Sarah, spent a lot of time at the library. Again a lot of late nights and ugly-laughing. Lots of missionaries came back, it was weird seeing them around the institute again.
Second semester I started dating Erik, I got accepted to TFA, rejected TFA, offered full-time employment as a nanny, declined it. I asked for full-time employment and was denied. I applied to the Disney internship, was accepted, and I took it. My sister got engaged, my mom plans on moving to Minnesota in May. Realized I have no idea what I want out of life. Filled out mission paperwork to open up that possibility. Had a class with Zac B.. Went to Disneyland. Went to San Diego.
I can't believe I am done. I love belonging on campus. I probably will get a graduate degree someday, but I don't know. This could be the end of my formal schooling. I can't believe it.
I know Florida is what is supposed to be next for me. It is terrifying and thrilling and I am so excited and nervous to go. I need to keep reminding myself that only through stretching do we grow. Cheers!
Freshman year, how awkward.
Senior year, a little less so.
"Chanda Crossman, BA" stands for badass, right?
ReplyDelete