I got my call!!!! I'll be serving in the California Rancho Cucamonga mission, speaking Spanish!! I'm so excited. I report to the Mexico CCM on Dec 31.
I am so so happy. My decision to serve has been a L-O-N-G process.. I started my application two years ago (Sept of 2012). I was dating R at the time but I knew that I wanted to serve and would regret not going. When I asked my bishop to open an application he had been planning on asking me to be a ward missionary.
When I started filling out my papers and praying about it I felt like I needed to finish school before I left. Instead of stopping, I contacted all of my scholarship people and asked if they would guarantee that they would hold my scholarships for me if I left for three semesters and they said they would. I thought that solved the problem, but I still felt weird about serving. So I fasted and felt like I definitely was not supposed to go. Then, a month later, the age requirements changed and I got a distinct impression that I wasn't needed as a missionary right then.
So I kept moving toward my degree and kept dating R. Then he and I got a little more serious and I decided that I probably wasn't going to serve a mission because I was going to just be with him and work while he went through school.
Then I started praying and fasting about whether R and I should move forward and I was definitely told no, that we needed to break up. Anyone who was around me in that dark period of my life knows how that went, ha ha. It was a very low point. I was a total mess about it and I didn't want to break up with him. It didn't seem fair or right. We got along well. I liked his family. We were both doing well and going to church and praying and reading scriptures. However, I couldn't deny the answer I had been given, so we ended things. That was a long, drawn-out, emotional process. BUT because we broke up I spent a lot of time with the sisters in our ward. Like, I went out with them at least three times weekly all summer. It kind of reignited my desire to serve, but I felt like I had already made plans not to go on a mission so I just brushed it aside. Maybe I was just meant to be a ward missionary.
Then I started my senior year and tried to figure out what I was going to do after I graduated. I like having plans and being prepared. Like, really. I am an Excel-budget-for-every-possible-situation type of girl. I applied for Teach for America and got accepted. But when I fasted about doing that I felt like it wasn't right. Then I decided I would keep working for the law firm that I worked for my senior year, but fasted and felt like that was wrong, too. Then I was offered the Disney internship and felt like that was what I should do, even though it didn't pay very much and it was across the country and I would have to leave Erik and Tucson before I wanted to and my dad would have to watch Luna. Despite all of the logical reasons why Disney World was not right for me, I felt like it was where I needed to go. Don't get me wrong, I love the Mouse and I was excited. I just felt like it definitely didn't make sense.
Also my senior year, I started dating Erik and realized that he and I really clicked well and had a lot of good things in common. He made me want to be better and he helped me to grow and achieve more than anyone else I had ever dated. He made me laugh and comforted me and I was (and am) so impressed with how hard he works and what he stands for. I got really excited for him when he put in his papers and got his call. And then I realized (again) that I really wanted to serve.
The day Erik opened his mission call I went home and finished filling out all of my papers, so that God would know that I was ready and willing. I also made appointments for the medical and dental portions of the paperwork. I kept praying and trying to see if it was what I should do, but all I got back was "Take it a step at a time." Specifically, the song Lead Kindly Light was repeated in my life over and over (I fasted on General Conference weekend last April and one of the first songs that MoTab sang was Lead Kindly Light. Right before the session started, as I was driving to Erik's house, I had a distinct impression that that song would be the answer to my fast.). I knew that I was supposed to go to Florida, and after that I only knew that God would let me know.
I went back and forth for a long time. One day I'd decide that I was going to serve and the next I decided that it made more sense for me to work and save money and get established. I made so many tentative plans. I was going to put in my papers ASAP. I was going to wait until right after Florida. I was going to wait until six months after Florida. I actually wasn't going to go at all. My poor family, and poor Erik, got so many mixed messages.
In Florida I attended the ward for young single adults and felt awful. I left and as I was crying on my way home I felt like I needed to go to the family ward instead. The next week I did.
That Sunday was a missionary farewell. The songs we sang were "I'll Go Where You Want Me to Go," "With Humble Heart," "Called to Serve," and "Lord, I Would Follow Thee." I met with Bishop Beck that first Sunday so we could get to know each other. During the meeting I mentioned that I had mission papers but didn't know if I wanted to go or not. He really encouraged me to and I fasted about it again the next day and finally felt great about it. I talked to all of my extended family and asked if they would be able to help pay for me to go (because I had absolutely nothing saved) and they pulled together and figured it out.
My situation in Florida was less than ideal. I needed to be making money and that wasn't happening with a minimum wage job. I also wasn't around people that I really felt could help me learn and grow and be lifted. My roommates were really..different than me. To say the least. They were really nice and I have a spot in my heart for each of them, but I felt like I was living in a sorority house. One day I came home and they were watching porn in the living room, because the girl in the porno went to high school with one of my roommates and she wanted to see if she was any good. Those sort of shenanigans happened regularly, but that was kind of the last straw. I decided that I needed to peace out.
I went to the Orlando temple to do baptisms and prayed there for a long time. I knew I was supposed to go to Florida for some reason. I didn't feel like I had done anything significant enough to justify the cost of moving. How could I have served my purpose there, or how was I supposed to stay there long enough to serve my purpose in that environment? I also talked to my friend, Zac. He managed to speak straight to my soul. He reminded me of a lot of things that I already knew, but that were so frequently said that I took them for granted. With his encouragement and the Spirit's guidance, I decided it was time to leave Florida.
My aunt and uncle (who live in Minnesota) had invited me to live with them until I left on my mission. Their offer had stood for a while, I just wasn't sure if I wanted it. I didn't know anyone in MN, I didn't have a job in MN. I had never even been to MN (quite frankly I wasn't exactly sure where MN was). I wasn't sure I wanted my papers to leave from MN, because I didn't want to go back after my mission to MN. But I prayed about it and felt like it was what was supposed to happen. They were going to Nauvoo the next week with my mom and two younger siblings and thought it would be cool if I could meet them there and then drive the rest of the way to MN. I quit the next day and left two days later.
Coincidentally my younger sister in Arizona was in a situation that she needed to get out of. She flew to Florida and drove with me to Nauvoo, which helped both of us.
Nauvoo was a wonderful experience that really helped strengthen my testimony of the Restoration and showed me that people can do hard things. I really learned and felt a lot.
Now I am in MN. The day I got here I had a job interview and was offered the job. Since then, I have had multiple job offers, most of which I had to turn down. Now I am working about 50 hours/week as a nanny, saving up for my mission (and after my mission and before my mission), and learning and growing and studying. I got all of my papers put in (which I was impatient about and felt like it took forever to gather the information from my Tucson bishop and my Florida bishop and my Lakeside doctor and dentist).
The wait for my call was killer. Let me tell you, patience is not something I have a lot of. I was checking the mailbox daily (also waiting for letters from Erik, so there were multiple reasons to be excited). I decided that I was going to get my call on Thursday, Sept 11 (13 days after I had submitted it). I checked the mail every ten minutes. Our mail here doesn't usually arrive until like 4:30, that day it didn't come until closer to 5. My aunt finally put a note on the mailbox, letting the mail carrier know that Chanda Crossman was expecting an important missionary call from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. She requested that when it was delivered the mail carrier honk "excessively and obnoxiously" so we could run out and get the mail. We attached a bag of mini-Ghiradelli squares with a note "Mini Thanks!" The mail was delivered that day, no honk, no call. So I resigned myself to wait another week (because I was very certain, for some reason, that my call would be delivered on a Thursday...).
The next day I was supposed to work from 7AM-5PM and then from 7:30PM-10:30PM. My first job ended early and I got off at 2PM. As I was driving home I had a very specific daydream that I was going to pull into my driveway and the mail would be delivered right then and my call would be in it. I scolded myself for getting too excited and working myself up. As I pulled into my driveway, the mail carrier pulled behind me to our mailbox and delivered our mail and honked "excessively and obnoxiously" a whole two hours earlier than usual. I went to check and my call was there! WOO.
I couldn't open it until 11:30 that night, because that was the next time everyone was available to gather together. I texted a few people, letting them know it had come. I got to talk to Zac, Alec, and Wade. As I was talking to Zac (or Alec?... I can't remember) I mentioned how much I missed In N Out and tacos. They told me I just needed to hope for a call to Anaheim and I would be set.
I opened the call surrounded by my family who lives in MN and electronically surrounded by other friends and family. I made a few wisecracks about it being past the Holy Ghost's bedtime, etc.. My call is perfect. I opened it and read it. Then my aunt started everyone singing Called To Serve (which I have been memorizing in Spanish).
I might not ever understand exactly why I had to move to Florida, but I know it was supposed to happen. And now I am SO EXCITED to serve in California. I wanted, so badly, a Spanish-speaking mission. It was what I prayed for since I started my papers two years ago.
I am in Mosiah of El Libro de Mormon, and I will be able to finish it before I leave. I have started praying in Spanish and reviewing things I learned at UA in my Spanish classes. I WILL BE PREPARED.
This call is seriously so perfect. Erik wants to get his masters in California so I plan on living there in four years (I mean..maybe, or whatever...), I am excited to make some connections with people there. It is Spanish speaking. It is warm. It will have easy access to Mexican food. I will be returning to the blessed West and the wonderful grid-system of roads. While I do think going foreign would have been cool, I'm not sure I am sturdy enough to have handled it. I think one tapeworm would send me to the hospital pretty quickly. I was really worried about that.
I'm so happy. I know God answers prayers and that He knows what is best. I've learned a lot and grown a lot. And I have even more to grow and learn. I'm thrilled. I am so thankful I have the opportunity to work and save for four months before I leave. I know that things will work out, but I am also terrified of coming back to no car, no job, no house, no clothes...
So, like I said.. long story. But I know I am exactly where I need to be. I'll be receiving my endowments on October 11 in the Mesa temple. Then I will be a Temple worker in MN until I leave, which I am happy about.
My mission boundaries-- see how close I am to Disneyland??
My call and I. At 11:30 at night. You can tell I am tired. And happy.
Erik was the closest guess. He predicted San Diego.
Before I opened the call. I was so afraid I was going to get called somewhere scary.
Erik's response to my call:
YOUR CALL! AH! I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU. IT IS SO PERFECT. I AM SO HAPPY YOU ARE STAYING IN THE UNITED STATES. THE GUY NEXT TO ME IS FROM THERE AND HE SAYS IT IS AWESOME. YOU WILL LOVE THE MEXICO MTC. OH SWEETIE. I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU. THIS IS THE BEST POSSIBLE ONE. WOO!
